When Do You Get Your Child a Cell Phone?

Susan Kersch September 2, 2012 at 11:30 am

If both parents and children have busy schedules that need to be juggled...the cell phone is essential for maintaining balance and connection My daughter got one quite early in life. I was a new single parent after 9/11 and my third grader needed to know despite my not being in one place that she could reach me easily. The cell phone was always an asset in our communication. Now that my daughter is in college it is a key tool to commincate with friends and employers. With the callling plans being offered today I think cell phones are essential to juggling a bsuy family life. There are etiquette rules to be folllowed between parent and child....keep the voice mail empty so that you can receive messages....keep the phone on so that Mom can reach you....communication has to be both ways....chare your phone at night..always.

Tara September 2, 2012 at 11:55 am

Thank you for sharing your experience and thoughts, they are very helpful.

Ted Merriman September 2, 2012 at 11:57 am

I've seen special cell phones designed for children that can only call a limited number of pre-programmed numbers such as parents, relatives and other emergency contacts. This should alleviate most concerns parents may have about their kids being too young for a phone.

Tony Ercole September 2, 2012 at 12:24 pm

The (total) proliferation of cell phones is inevitable, no matter what anyone's thoughts! How I grew up in the forties without one is beyond me. As a child, I wasn't even allowed to use the one land line phone in our home without my father being present. When you pick up the phone from it's cradle, the operator would ask: "num-ber pleeeeeassse?", and you responded with it. I vividly remember our number being: Ardmore 4319J. For some reason I can't remember anything else, but I can't forget that number If you think that is a typo, it isn't. The last number is the letter J. You only did this if you were fortunate enough not to have one of your neighbors on the line speaking to someone else. That was a "party line". Yes, you had to share your line with someone else and if they didn't want to get off for you, you had to wait. This was a less expensive plan. If you could afford a single line, they were avaiable, but I didn't know anyone with that luxury. Of course, party lines were also a great way to gather gossip. You could listen in on your neighbors conversation!! hehehe. Hey, you of my generation, I'm sure you all remember. Just a little nostalgia for those who care. I sure pine for those days of less complications. No televisions, no computers, going to the movies and watching the show twice and not having to worry that you were going to have to walk home alone in the dark. Actually, it was horrible having to think for yourself. hehehe Ciao

Stephanie Markstein September 2, 2012 at 01:02 pm

Tony,
Thanks for sharing those memories. Children today don't know how good they have it!!

Sean Moir September 2, 2012 at 01:10 pm

This a part of a bigger discussion that goes way beyond cell phones. When do you allow your child to have an account on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Youtube, or whatever other social media / communication technology that's coming down the road?
This is all new stuff for which we have no precedents to work with.

Tony Ercole September 2, 2012 at 01:56 pm

With all of the optional communication devices available to children today, they still seem to lack the ability to communicate one on one! How is that for an observation?

Susan Marshall September 2, 2012 at 02:41 pm

I think they should have them by the time they are dating and driving for their own safety.

Shirley September 2, 2012 at 04:46 pm

When children are old enough to say babysit or do errands for neighbors, then they are old enough to carry a cell phone. But it should be for emergency purposes only. No Internet on the Smartphones unless and until they can afford to pay for the app with their babysitting money or after school jobs, or allowance savings. Besides, they probably already have a computer at home which they can use for Internet purposes.

Pamela September 2, 2012 at 06:30 pm

Ted, now that makes sense. Otherwise MY kids get a phone when they get a jobbie job to pay for it!

Anthony Wayne September 2, 2012 at 08:00 pm

Every family has a different dynamic and need. In our home, use of phones early kept lines of communication open and helped to foster a sense of responsibility. We see it as a important safety tool as well.

Just me September 3, 2012 at 12:51 am

My kids both got cell phones when they started middle school. It gave them a sense of independence and me peace of mind.

BANKER0917 September 3, 2012 at 01:10 am

Loving tony's comments about theparty line. I grew up in the very earl 60s a nd we still had a party line andHO di we ever get along with all the gizmos the kids have today. Really ?? I remember our first color tv and being sent to yout room really was a punishment as there was no TV, computer, or cell phone to bide your time. Remember when you had to hide/keep a dime in case you DID have to call home via a payphone ?? What's that ?? the kids say today !! Still like the more simpler times and lifestyles !!

Paula K September 3, 2012 at 03:03 am

ah memories, thanks Tony! Remember when "644" phone exchange was called "niagara 4"--and then so many more numbers we had to add the "647" exchange-they were the new folks in town. Agree on the kid specific phone for limited numbers and no texting, internet etc. Its a phone for emergencies and communication, not entertainment. We kept the computer in a family location so mom and dad could walk by and see the screen. Way too many dangerous people online trolling for vulnerable kids via their smart phone or a computer in their rooms. Seconding Sean's comments about new technology and learning as we go--can be scary!-

Earnest September 3, 2012 at 02:54 pm

Throughout the elementary years there really was no need for our kids to have a cell phone as we were volunteer coaches etc. in the community activities that they participated in and if not both at least one of us was at every game or recital.
Our kids didn't get cell phones until they were in Middle School when they shifted to the after school sports and music activities that are run by educational staff.

Kelly Phillips Erb September 3, 2012 at 03:08 pm

We got our daughter (age 10) a cell phone when she went away to her first sleep over camp. She was staying in a dorm and we were concerned that she might get scared or lonely so we put a phone on our plan. I programmed all of the numbers she was allowed to call myself and checked her texts and call lists to make sure that she followed the rules (she did).
Post camp, she had to give the phone back to me. On some day trips and vacations, she is allowed to have it back but then again, it gets returned. We have already discussed that she will not take it to school. Re the question about FB and other social media, I would suggest that parents be guided by the terms and conditions already established by those sites - they're there for a reason. ;) It is against the terms and conditions of FB, for example, for a user to be under the age of 13.

Nitewolf Novels September 3, 2012 at 07:34 pm

My daughter is 9 - we have discussed her having a cell phone - ok let me re-phrase that - she has talked about getting a cell phone. Right now I see no need in her having one since she does not go anywhere with a family member around. Now when she her sports activities keep her after school - and she starts move towards more Independence, then the time will be there - not just for her to use - but for our personal mind as well.
When the time comes - LIMITS will be huge. No texting without our approval of the other person. No Internet service - that's what our computer are for at home where we can approve the content. As for facebook - She will be 13 if she wants it - and we will have her password to check her pages. Children should not get privacy until they are 18 - it is privilege to have privacy - not a right.... And facebook and text messaging and other social media are so very dangerous to children that do not understand the ramifications of posting one thing.